If you are like me, you'll proceed to shoot yourself in the foot.
As a good parent, and with my wife's help, I try to teach to the kids the values of money and responsibility for your possessions. "Who is responsible for your stuff? You!"
When my oldest son had his confirmation last year, and collected a pretty significant amount of cash gifts, the conversation went like this:
Parents: "What do you want to do with your gift money?"
Child: "I want an iPod Touch just like Daddy has! I have enough money for one!"
The fact he knew how much one cost was a little surprising, but he had a valid point. After setting parameters (music only, no games, it doesn't leave the house) we said OK.
A few months later, I learned that the after-school program my kids go to would allow electronic devices if a parent signed a permission slip.
"Dad, can you sign a form for us to bring our electronic toys to after-school?"
"Not. Happening."
Two days later, I pick up the kids from after-school, and as anyone could have predicted, my oldest has his iPod Touch with him. Safely hidden in his pants pocket. With the case! And the headset! Sneaky, yet careful and thorough. Regardless, this was a case of interpreting my not signing the form as approval to be devious.
"Son, I'm not angry, but I will have to take your iPod from you for a few days as punishment for breaking a rule. You need to understand that bad things could have happened to it that would have made you sad. It could have been stolen, broken, or worst of all, lost!"
Go ahead and guess what happens next. OK, don't. I'll tell you.
While the iPod was in my possession, I lost it. Searched high and low, checked the house, the car, my briefcase where I swore I put it when I took if from my son. Gone.
The quandary: while punishing my son for putting his iPod in a situation where it could get lost, I lost it.
Credibility drops immediately to the lowest level.
Yes I did replace the iPod, which by virtue of Apple product development, is now a better iPod than he had. (lesson learned by child: disobey my parents, get better stuff!) I am now five times as alert to where his iPod is than I was previously, which is annoying the daylights out of my son and my wife at the same time (not the kind of two-fer you want).
What did I gain from this experience? A solid reminder of a management theory - a person's ability to do a job will increase with the amount of responsibility you give them. Had I just given the iPod back to my son with a well worded reminder and the left him the responsibility to care for it, most likely he would not have broken the rules again.
As for me, when I bought the new iPod, I got a $25 bonus gift card from the store. I then proceeded to lose that gift card.
There is now a level zero.
